The Real Reason You're Avoiding Your Vows (And Why That's About to Change)

Feeling stuck with your vows? You're not alone. Let's talk about what's really happening when you keep pushing that task to tomorrow...

The Truth About Your Vow Procrastination
Let's be honest—that blank page staring back at you feels intimidating. You've moved "write vows" from one to-do list to the next. Maybe you've convinced yourself you'll feel more inspired closer to the wedding. Maybe you're telling yourself you're "just not ready yet."

I see you. I understand you. And I'm here to tell you something important: writing your vows only seems overwhelming because you don't know where to start or how to move through it in a meaningful way.

That resistance you're feeling? It's not a sign you should keep avoiding this task. It's actually pointing you toward a powerful transformation waiting on the other side.

What's Really Hiding Behind "I'll Do It Later"
When couples tell me they're putting off their vows, here's what I've discovered is really happening:

1. It's Not About Writing Skills—It's About Vulnerability
That voice in your head saying "I'm not a writer" is masking a deeper concern: opening your heart completely, putting those feelings into words, and sharing them publicly feels vulnerable. This isn't about crafting perfect prose—it's about being authentically you.

2. Perfectionism Is Blocking Your Path
Many thoughtful people—perhaps especially thoughtful people—struggle with vow writing precisely because they care so deeply. They want everything to be perfect, believing their words need to create a movie-worthy moment.

But here's the truth: perfect vows don't exist. Authentic vows do. And authenticity beats perfection every time.

3. You're Missing the Point of the Process
When we focus only on the end product—the words you'll speak on your wedding day—we completely miss the transformative journey of creating them.

Your vows aren't just something you say. They're a container for transformation. They're an opportunity to consciously step into your marriage with intention, clarity, and purpose.

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Three Truths About Vow Resistance
If you're avoiding your vows, I want you to know these three essential truths:

Truth #1: It's really not that hard. With the right starting point and path forward, this process becomes infinitely more manageable. You simply need the right framework.

Truth #2: The only way through is through. That resistance you feel? The stronger it is, the more valuable the transformation waiting on the other side. Trust me on this one.

Truth #3: It's not about performance—it's about presence. Remember that your vows don't have to be a public performance. You can share them privately before or after the ceremony if that feels more authentic to you. Remove the pressure of an audience, and focus on what truly matters.

What Happens When You Move Past Resistance
When you finally sit down and begin crafting your vows with intention, something magical happens:

You identify the key reasons why you're marrying this person based on your experiences together.

You recognize the values, attributes, and personality traits that make you compatible with your beloved.

You clarify the promises you specifically need to make to be the spouse you want to be in your marriage.

In short, you become more intentional about how you choose to step into this marriage. This isn't just about crafting beautiful words—it's about consciously creating the foundation for your married life together.

If I Could Talk to My Past Self...
I got married at 27, and looking back, I was what you might call a reluctant bride. I was proposed to early in my relationship, and being a "yes" person, I agreed. What followed was a very long engagement where I now realize I was stalling because I wasn't sure of my reasons.

If I could go back and talk to that version of myself, I would have said: "Sit down and get started on your vows now. Get connected to your big 'why.' Why are you doing this? Why does this work? Why are you a good fit?"

Perhaps by asking myself those questions sooner, I could have recognized that I wasn't moving through my engagement consciously. I was just checking boxes because each step seemed like "the next right thing to do."

Although everything worked out as it was meant to, imagine how things might have unfolded if I had used the vow-writing process to become more present, conscious, and aware of what was happening and why I wanted it to happen.

​When You Say "I'm Not Ready Yet"
Let's address what's really hiding behind that statement:

Is it about the writing part? Use voice memos or speech-to-text. Problem solved.

Scared of public speaking? Skip it! Share your vows privately instead.

Perfectionism holding you back? That's when you need a guide—someone to help you structure your thoughts and feelings into something that feels true to you.

But underneath all these excuses is often something deeper: a lack of confidence that you're capable of doing something that feels challenging.

Confidence is about developing trust in yourself by taking small, consistent actions. It's about becoming present and intentional about the things you do in your daily life, especially regarding your marriage and relationships.
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Your Invitation to Transform
I know it seems daunting to get this tornado of thoughts and feelings from your head and heart onto paper or screen. But I promise you, it's much easier than you think.

This isn't a writing assignment. It's an opportunity to reflect, to visualize, to have fun with the process of co-creating your life with your beloved. By answering the questions already blossoming in your engaged heart, you can use this process as a container for sacred transformation as you step into married life together.

You have everything in your heart and mind to get the words out. The act of polishing and refining is even easier than you think, and the transformation at the end is worth every step of the journey.

Your Next Step Forward
If this resonates with you, I'd love to invite you to take my Wedding Vow Superpower Quiz. This fun quiz will help you determine what aspect of your personality will help you through this vow writing process.  And me, I'll also be here to guide you the rest of the way.

Remember: The only way you can truly get your vows "wrong" is by not doing them at all. Everything else is just part of the beautiful journey toward becoming the spouse you want to be.

Much Love <3 Amy