Why You Should Ditch the Script and Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Because your wedding ceremony is more than just something to get through—it’s a container for transformation.

Let’s be honest: Most couples spend way more time picking linens than they do thinking about their vows. It’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of wedding planning—Pinterest boards, catering tastings, guest lists, dress fittings—and before you know it, you’re standing at the altar, slightly dazed, just trying to make it through the ceremony so you can finally eat something and hit the dance floor.

But what if your ceremony could be more than that?

What if your vows could be more than a box to check?

If you feel even a tingle of a desire to make your wedding day deeply personal and meaningful, here’s why writing your own vows might be the key.

Your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be fully present.

There are moments in life that are meant to wake us up. Getting married is one of them. And yet, so many couples rush through the ceremony on autopilot, exhausted from planning or disconnected from the deeper meaning of the day. I’ve seen it too many times—couples saying the same script that's been said a thousand times before, barely present to the significance of the words.

But writing your own vows requires you to pause. To reflect. To choose your words with care. It grounds you in the truth of why you’re getting married—and brings you back to the sacredness of the moment you’re stepping into.

This is about being intentional. About showing up—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually—for one of the biggest decisions of your life.
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Your vows are the soul of your ceremony.

Traditional vows can be beautiful, but let’s be real: “’Til death do us part” doesn’t speak to everyone anymore. Personal vows give you the chance to express your love, your promises, and your shared vision for the future—on your own terms.

They can reflect the journey you’ve been on, the values you share, the growth you’ve experienced together, and the dreams you’re stepping into. This is not about perfection or performance—it’s about authenticity.

Whether you read them aloud at the altar or co-create them privately as part of your ceremony script, your vows become a living, breathing expression of your relationship’s heart.

Writing vows is part of co-creating your marriage.

Your wedding day is a milestone—but your vows are about more than the moment. They’re about setting an intention for the marriage you want to create together.

When you sit down to write personal vows, you’re not just writing sweet words. You’re getting clear on what matters to you as a couple. You’re articulating the promises that will guide you through the years ahead. You’re stepping into marriage as conscious co-creators, not passive participants.
It’s powerful. And transformative.

Even if you don’t end up reading personal vows out loud on your wedding day, the process of writing them together (or separately) is a deeply meaningful ritual. It creates connection. Clarity. And a moment of deep presence with your partner.

Want help deciding if writing personal vows is right for you?

I’ve created a free “Should I Write My Own Vows?” checklist to help you explore this decision with intention and clarity.

👉 [Download the checklist here] 

This isn’t about pressure—it’s about possibility. Let’s make sure your wedding ceremony feels as real, rich, and intentional as the love you’re celebrating.